fair is a place where they judge pigs at
I remember my mother slaving for the rent, never knowing weather food would be on the table.
[[Whats for dinner?]] [[wheres Dad?]]
Sharing food with roaches on top of pissy sofasMy father was a Bitch
[[why?]] [[I don't care]]
He didn't care ... Mom was only 18 when he didnâ€™t have any fucks to spare and left
[[Call dad]] [[change my name to Robinson]]
Neither do I I mean Itâ€™s not like I need him
the only thing he left me with was a weird gap in my teeth and some nasty facial hair
I hate that man. I hate him with every fiber in my body. Iâ€™d like to talk to him. Give him a piece of my mind but Unfortunately that day will never come.
no one showed me how to become a manBut if I ever had the chance to call I hope he would answer.
[[talk to him]] [[don't talk to him]]Maybe I could ask him for guidance or why he left us. Maybe we could go to the park and play catch or I could tell him about school or this girl that I like. That's what a son is suppose to do with his dad right?
Him Not being there is the reason Iâ€™ve become the man I am today
[[Life Goes on]]
[[Let me just clear my mind]]I used to be a good kid; however, school never came easy.
[[General Population]] [[Alternative School]]Where's the weed at ?All of my homies went to Center in the city. At Center there were classes for the smart people and there where Regular classes know as general population or in other words, day care. I was held back in the sixth grade and inducted into the alternative school due to poor grades. I had to leave all my homies that were in general population. I wonder what's below Day care?
[[Big Nate]]. I was the biggest dude in highschool and I was anointed the nickname â€œBig Nateâ€ by all of my peers.
[[Let's get some money]] [[Join the football Team]]I'm gonna get this money any way I can... Daycare isn't helping me do that. What else is there? Football is the only reason I was in school otherwise I wouldâ€™ve dropped much earlier. Whenever I played I felt at home. I felt like I wasnâ€™t useless and my life had meaning. I enjoyed every moment on the gridiron.
[[Go to practice]] [[Skip school and practice]]
he sun was hot and my head could barely fit into this plastic helmet. Being overweight didnâ€™t help either. But the coaches and my teammates were always there for me and I was there for them
[[Take care of mom]] I'm Big Nate I can't be missing meals.If I skip school that means I don't eat...I was very good. I had division II offers to go to college and i even had interest from Oklahoma.
[[go to college]] [[get a job]]Is my eductation really that bad? Is there really anything worse than day care? To be honest I've never thought about college. I wish someone told me I could do better. I just don't have the grades to be able to play at a university.
[[A way out?]] [[mom has the flu]]
I used to think she always had the flu. Her face would change color and her breathing would sound funny.
[[won't you don't know won't hurt you]] [[The 60's]]My mother was affected by it. She would try to hide her addiction from me but I knew something was up. Addiction can turn even the most beautiful and healthy people into a complete mess. From time to time she would leave needles lying around.
[[Get a job to support MOM]] [[Stay in school]]There was a bad drug problem in my neighborhood. I was born in the 60's a hood that currently had beef with another hood in the 30's.
Na man that means I can't play football... I can't let the squad down. if that's what you want to call this shit
[[Alex]] His name was Alex. He was a very funny guy which is one of the reasons why I gravitated to him. He was always in trouble and was never on time. verybody on the team would alway mess with him because they knew they could easily get a reaction out of him and they usually succeeded.
[[Hang out with Alex]] [[na man that dude acts funny]]After practice we would get high at in the parking lot or hang out at the mall. Alex taught me a lot.
[[An escape]] He was a hot head and probably had a few screws loose. Honestly the guy was kind of a fuck up I leaned how to fight. I learned how to shoplift, but most important he taught me how to talk my way out of any situation. Having a friend like that kept my mind off of my situation at home. I felt I had someone who understood me. He probably wasnâ€™t the best influence in my life and we got in a whole lot of trouble.
[[Have ]] [[have not]] Alex was different. He was a smart kid and I always knew that he had a bright future. It was understood that he would eventually figure it out and head off to college. After our senior year he did just that and got into a four year university.
[[part ways]] [[follow my dream]]
The guy was very smooth and could lift anything: clothes, hats, pants anything we wanted. It was great because neither one of us had anything to our name. I felt I had someone who understood me. However he gave me the opportunity to escape from my situation at home. I could take my mind off of all of my problems and just enjoy life. I'll never forget my time playing football because those were the best years of my life.It took a piece out of me hen he left but I was happy for him. I always had dreams of playing in college and I definitely had the talent. Up to this point football had kept me out of the street life. Many kids that I went to school with fell victim and started to drop. I always enjoyed the fact that I was not one of them. My only prayer out of the neighbor was football.
[[Go to college]] [[a long shot. My grades never improved and I went to the alternative school Nothing but a silly ass little dream. I barely graduated school and after that I picked up a job working at a grocery store bagging groceries. I was fine at first but I wasnâ€™t making enough money and the bills needed to be payed. I didnâ€™t have any particular skills. so I picked up another job working as a cook across the street at a small dinner. I was able to get by but because I was working two jobs I had zero time.
[[make new friends]] I made time to hang out with a few people from my job and neighborhood. I called them my friends but I was never really that close to any of them. These people grew up in the same neighborhood and were in similar situations and upbringings. They were troublemakers similar to Alex but the only difference was that Alex was smart and had a future.
[[WHats The Point?]] [[Let me just clear my mind.]] I was never one to wake up late however I found it harder to get out of bed each day. I would wake up later and later each day. Pretty soon it started becoming a problem and I began showing up to work late. Some days I would lay in bed all day unable to pull myself out of bed. Eventually I started missing work altogether. With each passing day I began to feel more and more like complete shit.
[[Flase Hope]] [[suck it up]]I was inspired by some of my so called friends to commit a robbery across the street at the gas station. I received a .22 pistol as a gift from one of my boys to help carry out the lick.
[[Plan]] [[Lets get this money]]wanna come back heer and flip these burger with me Simple I run in and tell everyone to get the fuck on the ground. Get the money and then we're out of there. I canâ€™t get money the way other people get money. My options are limited. I could go through with the lick or continue living as a square flipping burgers and bagging groceries for the rest of my life.
[[Scenario B]] I am not a criminal. Sure iâ€™ve delved in minor delinquency but Iâ€™ve never committed any serious crimes. So far my conscious is the only thing preventing me
[[Can I do it?]] [[Don't do it]]At this point it's all about them dollar bills. We're gonna get this money any way we can. The skii mask way.
Should I go through with it or not. What happens if someone dies. Could I let someoneâ€™s coffin rest on my conscious.
[[just do it]] [[is there another way?]] Myabe I should go back to flipping burgers instead?You wanna be on the news?
I wonder what my mother would think... Iâ€™m not sure she even loves me like she used to. What would my father think or would he even care.
[[will is weak]] [[is this really the only way?]]I need the money but Even more I need a way out.
[[I'm not gonna do it]]Itâ€™s irritating I think my mind is playing tricks on me. Its eating at meI wonder why it's harder to get out of bed. I wonder why I'm so stressed. Maybe I could be the hero and save the day. Maybe I could spare grief on the behalf of someone else. Maybe I could be the hero and save hte day? I put the gun up to my head. My will is week and Iâ€™m sick of living.. I feel like death is calling me. Iâ€™ll be glad when Iâ€™m dead. I feel the barrel of the gun on my skin sending chills down my spine. Iâ€™m going crazy with with nerves. My life flashes begins flashing before my eyes. My heart starts beating it feels like it's going to pound outside of my chest. Am I really going to go through with this am I really going to waste my life right here.
[[What's Fair]]A place where they judge Pigs at.
With the gun loaded I put my finger on the trigger. I count to three. One, two, three and I breathe in then out and then squeeze.
WHerre's the weed at?